Even if we work to be kind to ourselves—to notice negative self-talk and redirect toward self-compassion, and be intentional about changing unhealthy behaviors, we can still become angry. Why do we find ourselves unhappy despite our efforts to be otherwise?
For anyone who truly wants to find happiness, there comes a time when they must
confront the fact that they are furious with themselves. Oftentimes, despite communicating our preferences and dislikes, we continue to permit others to cross the boundaries we attempted to establish. While a common response may be to feel frustrated with the people in our lives, a deeper look will reveal that it’s our frustration with ourselves that becomes the real challenge.
So, how shall we proceed? CONSISTENCY is the operative word. In a previous blog post, I discussed how habits affect the brain. When we become accustomed to acting in a particular manner—whether healthy or unhealthy—that behavior becomes a habit. To break the cycle of behavior, you must make different choices consistently. Maintaining a boundary is even more essential than establishing it.
Most people in your life—friends, relatives, colleagues, strangers, and even you—will test your limits, as they are also governed by their habits. If you hope to keep people in your life as you change and evolve, you must effectively and consistently communicate your requirements and desires!
Perpetually yours,
Dr. C
